I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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