She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize