she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
