I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He shit in the fireplace
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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