party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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