Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
