I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
