i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
