I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
