I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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