well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
