This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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