she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
