Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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