It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
