Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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