honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize