I think I am morally bankrupt
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
