Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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