My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
