Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
