I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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