So drunk its hurt
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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