Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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