Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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