I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
