is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
