I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
