i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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