I just threw up on my dentist
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
