Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
