no you cant smoke seaweed
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
