I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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