I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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