i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Randomize
