I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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