I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
