no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
