better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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