you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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