love makes seman taste better
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
