What a fucking waste of an outfit
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He felt like a one man threesome
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
