Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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