You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize