Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
