Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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