The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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