You smell like stripper and shame
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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