Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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