She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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