There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
