also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He shit in the fireplace
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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