glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
