and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
