you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
