Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
