quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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