Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
